The Victory Ride
Do The Lap & Wiggle!
San Francisco's own Critical Mass,
Dildo Man !
Dildo Man is inviting y'all to The Victory Ride of 1998. Yes... Critical
Mass has won against every illegal citation and arrest that This City has
issued since the attack on the mass last July. Coupled with Dildo Man's
firm commitment to make critical mass a safe and enjoyable experience, On
April 24th Critical Mass will make this not only a joyous Victory ride
but also an exquisite Virginal mass for the X-PED (Bennett Hall). This
means it is an excellent time for all you "Virgin-Massers" to "join" us.
Bring Flowers!
You heard Dildo Man right! For the first time since Dildo Man's sudden
arrival last fall, Dildo Man will be offering his services as an escort
for All Virgin Massers, young and old, boy and girl. This escort comes
complete with a "De-Flowering", a Super Hero Power up, and lots of
"Laps".... LOTS of Laps!
As most of you know, Critical Mass' record remains clean and violation
free. Not one BiCyclist Nor one BiStander has been convicted of any crime
except the crime of passion and the plea of safe love for all.
In an effort to build up more LOVE in the City of San Francisco, Dildo
Man presents The "V" is for "Victory" and "Virgin" Mass. This Mass will
commemorate the scene of the no-crime that bikers didn't "commit" and
tour* the upcoming victories over the City Government Weenies and the
Corps they like to jump in bed with.
We will also celebrate our resent and Upcoming victories for pleasure
riders of this lovely City by doing Laps and The Wiggle*. Then we will
climax at sunset to cleanse ourselves of the rush hour grime and no-crime
in the crashing waves of the pacific while we dance around the fire that
ignites the sparks of the BiCycle Revolution.
In closing Dildo Man says, "There will be lots of people stuffed into a very small space, please don't push too hard, it can cause Road Rage and Rug Burn."
Dildo Man obeys all laws, both traffic laws and the laws of nature.
Dildo Man is not a leader, but Dildo Man is always a close second.
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